The Science of Sleep
is still my favorite movie
and I just rewatched it again.
I think it just reminds me of how timid I always am…how I always doubt myself and others and fabricate all these stories to explain away real life events that I end up not believing in the end.
It’s like I can’t tell if you’ve ever really liked me and only believe that you don’t care about me because you don’t talk to me anymore and therefore probably never really liked me but you said you cared but that was back in June which means nothing now and I just fill in the blanks with my own second guesses and lies and more stories like Stefan in the movie. Everything happens in my head, all the time, and I blur the lines between what I imagined and what really happened until the point that I can’t differentiate the two.
and then I run away. IRL, since I can’t run away from my mind.
and when I wake up, I’ll hate myself for clicking “create post” and delete everything again. as if these thoughts never existed.
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